Monday, June 1, 2009

"Dreams - There Are No Rules Of Architecture For A Castle In The Clouds."...G.K. Chesterton

Mothers and Daughters Relationship

I have the dubious honors of being the recipient of the titles Mother and Daughter. Both titles carry their own distinct responsibilities and roles. I once thought that my role as a mother was the most fulfilling and rewarding of the two titles. This comment is not to slight mothers and their huge responsibilities as parents.

My mother passed several years ago. The loss of my mother's love, guidance, and inspiration has definitely impacted my relationships with my daughters. At times, I become too overwhelmed in my feelings of abandonment, grieve, and self pity. I often resent being in a relationship, as the mother, where your love, kindness, caring, and warmth are not equally reciprocated. I only hope that I can be the mother to my daughters that my mother was to me.

These blissful and joyous relationships can, at times, become volatile and disruptive during their teenage years. You at your best try to allow them (daughters) to grow and to mature into vibrant young ladies. I see the uniqueness in each of my daughters. It is difficult, at times, to maintain a relationship of mother and daughter and not their girlfriend. I can be your friend but the line of respect should be fostered and maintained. I welcome the opportunity to have my daughters to feel the comfort of openness. I want them to feel safe and to have the freedom to voice their opinion and concerns in a healthy manner. With all the disappointments and up's and down's, I love them unconditionally. I love them with the spirit of forgiveness, happiness, strength, empowerment and grace. I vicariously see life through them and I pray with optimism and hope for a better life for me as well as for Bria and Mya.

As we, the mothers, advance in age there is this natural metamorphosis or evolution that God in his infinite wisdom allows to take place where our roles and responsibilities shifts. If raised properly, the once young and innocent daughter with the pigtails and smiles take on the more dominate role. The transition is so subtle and benign that it is not obviously apparent to all parties involved. Until the day, when you are the one deciding where she will live, how her bills are paid and making vital health care decisions concerning your mother. When faced with these life altering tasks, remember the times that she wiped away your tears, promised you everything would be alright, sacrificed herself for your future. These are days that I will not have to share with my mother. So if you are so blessed to enter into this phase, cherish it. Never make her to feel like a burden and maintain her dignity and self respect.

If there is a splintered relationship between mother and daughter always remember there will never be too many times to heal the past and to relish and to rejoice in the future. I was once told that God gives us a mother because of the unconditioned love that she has for you. This is the closes experience of His love in the now and physical on Earth that you will ever experience until that day that you and Him are together.

Peace and Blessings,

Tracey ReNissa

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