"Keep Focused on the Substantiative Issues. To Make a Decision Means Having to go Through One Door and Closing All Others.""...Abraham Zalenznik

As Black People, Are We Still Pro-Obama...Are We Still Enthralled With This Man Of Charisma and Grace That Led This Country To Elect Our First Black President...Or Are You Disenchanted With Obama and His Policies and Why....What Expectations Did You Have and Were They Met?

Good morning my queens and kings. As we so quickly approach another Presidential Election (2012), we are faced with the daunting task, might I say responsibility, of choosing the best capable person, Commander in Chief, to lead our country.

As I ponder and marvel over the accomplishments of President Obama, I must also, in fairness, recount some of the promises that were proposed by President Obama that have not come into fruition. I do not believe that the President was blowing smoke and feeding us pie in the sky fairy tales for us to buy into. In fact, the impact and magnitude of fulfilling these promises, to me, have proven to be larger and more challenging than he could have initially imagined.

With the recent shift of Republicans vs. Democrats in Congress, there is very little chance of bipartisanship to support President Obama. Greater than partisanship, there is the unspoken truth, the big yellow elephant in the center of the room that won't go away, Racism. Unfortunately, there is a under current to stall and sabotage anything the President is trying to pass even at the expense and demise of the constituents who voted for these men and women to to come together under one accord to help improve this very unstable economic climate.

What are your thoughts? Do we continue to support President Obama because he is a black man, a man of color, or does your allegiance for this man go much deeper than the color of his skin. Do you stand firmly beside him in his views on domestic and foreign policies and his plans to bring our economy from record lows. Have you grown tired of the rhetoric and is eagerly awaiting to start anew. Here is your opportunity to express your views.

Peace and Blessings,

Tracey ReNissa

What Is Wisdom?...I Have Often Wondered, And I Am Not Sure. Understanding Of Life And Men (Women), I Presume.....Louis L'Amour

Moments

In the world we live in today, it is a humbling awakening when you can reunite with someone 30 years later and the conversation, the love, the genuineness of who you and who they are allows you to pick up like it was only yesterday.


Last night was a true testament of sisterhood. In those 30 years, life has taken each one of us down different paths. We all have experienced and witnessed happiness, tragedy, joy, disappointment that have touched us, individually, different than the other but through it all, we are sistahs.


My heart rejoices today in the spirit of knowing that God's hands orchestrated this moment of happiness. Girls you showed up and showed out, just the way I like it. AB, girl, you STILL have the grace and refinement that only you can display (all real). Traci, girl, you are the person I would love to live vicariously through to live out that artistic free spirit that is buried inside of me screaming to be set free. Girl you carry IT with such class and richness. Do you boo, never duplicated always authenticated.


What was even more special for me was allowing my daughters to witness, first hand, what and how true friendship/sisterhood really is. Knowing my daughters, their moments of silence was just a muse. Their minds were processing and storing the knowledge of "Oh this is how we do it". This was one of life's invaluable lessons and I am so glad that they were the students and you two women were the instructors. Thank you again for a life lesson that I can never put a price tag on. A lesson called Life.


There are moments in life I reflect on now, with 47 years of wisdom, and I know exactly what I would have done differently. There are some moments in the life that I reflect on with pride, admiration, and conviction. But with it all, I thank God for allowing me to be me, a woman of God. I thank Him for my spirit of maturity, my spirit of friendship, my spirit of sisterhood, my spirit of self.


Thank you again, Traci and AB. This was only one of many more moments in this thing called Life.


Peace and Blessings,


Tracey ReNissa

"Conscience is the Inner Voice Which Warns us"

THE HEAVINESS OF IT ALL

As a young woman embarking college, I was scheduled to attend Morgan State University, a HBCU. At the time, my mother suffered a hemorrhagic CVA. I attended orientation, but I did not return for fall classes. I truly regret not having that experience. I make mention of this minor diversion to transition into my current position as a RN for one of our prominent HBCU.

As a nurse in the health service department, I see and hear a lot of what the younger adults are experiencing. One particular day, I had a male student to come into the exam room to request a STD screening. I paused and looked at him with my motherly stern glare that was filled with the same love and support that I have for my two sons. When I looked over to him to make eye contact there was something so profoundly different about his demeanor compared to the countless others that parade in and out of health services requesting STD screenings. His lowered head, his soft spoken words and most memorable, in my mind, was the heaviness of his shoulders were the things that stood out in my memory of him. I immediately changed my approach and my voice became softer and more soothing. I told him we only screen for gonorrhea and chlamydia. I questioned if he had unprotected sex and if he received confirmation from his partner that he may have been exposed to a STD. He responded yes to both questions, but it was not one of the two STD's that I had mentioned. He needed to be screened for HIV. His partner phoned him the previous night to tell him, she tested positive for HIV. She tested positive for the initial mouth swab and had to return for the blood draw to confirm the swab. I immediately felt weak in my knees because this was the first time as a nurse, as a mother, as a black woman, as a human, that I had to prepare one of my children for a life altering oddyssey and regardless of the results this was truly a moment in his life that would alter every facet of his being. This was the fork in the road and it required some hard choices.

I gathered the information and resources on campus that he needed to contact to screen for the HIV test, as well as, counseling that would be needed. After I gave him the information, I asked if we could pray together and I prayed with him and I asked his permission to hug him. We hugged for a few seconds but I didn't want to let him go. While we held hands during prayer and hugged, I felt those heavy shoulders release some of its heaviness unto me. The need for him to be vulnerable was palpable. He could no longer hold in those tears or stop his shoulders from moving up and down from the heaviness of it all. At that moment, I too started crying because the innocence of his youth had been tarnish and compromised. From this point on, he must be accountable for his actions and the impact of these actions to others, the heaviness of it all. We both took a moment to gather ourselves before we opened the doors to the exam room into the main waiting room. As my son departed, I called out his name and he turned to me and I said I am here for you, come back if you need to talk. He struggled to fight back the tears and in his weak soft voice he said "I will". The heaviness of it all.

I have tried to reach out and contact this young man, but I have not been able to contact him. My life has been effected by this chance encounter. The humbleness of this young man during this life sobering news was life altering.

Update, I started writing the particular blog a few weeks ago. I just could not find the right ending to this story. My brave young man reappeared. His stature and demeanor was no longer of a boy but a man. We hugged the moment he entered the exam room. I gave me the great news that his initial test is negative. He does have to retest in 6 months but I have no doubt the results will remain the same. Unfortunately, his girlfriend's blood test was positive. We talked and I could hear the maturity in his voice. I reminded him that as a man, it was imperative that he employs his God given sense of discernment. He mentioned that he keeps in touch with the young lady and he is there to support her during this transition.

I felt relief and sadness after seeing this young man again. I truly believe that his life will yield greatness for him. Not every story ends with this ending. I have a dear friend whose daughter died in February of complications from AIDS. The Heaviness of it all was shared with a father who cared and loved her to the end. I know for him, he never thought once about his only role and responsibility to care and love for his daughter. It was never heavy or any doubt about how he would be there for her.

I only hope that this blog touches someone and resonants in their heart to allow this to be a turning point.

Peace and Blessings,

Tracey ReNissa

"How Well We Communicate Is Determined Not By How Well We Say Things But How Well We Are Understood...Andrew S. Grove

"SUPERWOMAN"

"Superwoman". How many women do we know that have earned and are deserving of this title, "Superwoman". I attended a Domestic Violence Awareness Breakfast recently and the video "Superwoman" by Alicia Keyes was playing. After watching the video, I started thinking about the impact this massive enormous title has and the implications that are attached to it.

I was raised by a "Superwoman". At times, when I am drowning in my pool of self pity, I often reflect back to those days of growing up. I marvel and wonder how the hell did she keep food on the table, pay tuition for me to attend a private school, afford clothing and all the other necessities and luxuries that I so often took for granted (a trip to Europe). I know dozens of women that are honorably and equally deserving of that title, "Superwoman". After hearing it said, I started to question why are so many of our women deserving of this title. Why are there so many women placed in the position to be named Superwoman. The connotation of this title has a double fold. In my mind, I envision someone that is relentless by a fault, honorable, her character is beyond reproach and she has unquestionable perseverance. The other side of this are the women who embody the endless struggles that are heaped and burdened upon them. I resent that I have to go out and make the bacon, bring home the bacon, fry it up on in a pan, and serve it up on the plate.

I want so desperately to shed this cold metal armour of courageousness, of invincibility, and steadfastness. I want to be what God has created me to be, a Woman. I want to assume my role and position as a nurturer, a mother, a wife, a caregiver, a sister, a granddaughter, a friend, a lover, an inspiration, an unshakable and unmovable fixture in the lives of all that I love, cherish and hold dear and close to my heart. I want to be vulnerable, sensitive to your needs, compassionate, empathic, and sympathetic. Allow me to assist you in your journey called Life, for I am made of a rib from your side. I am the vessel that has brought forth the miracle of life.

Today, I take back my position and my God given role as a Woman. Women join me with the conviction and determination to regain our true identities. I am Woman made of Man hear my cry.

Peace and Blessings

"Vision Is A Startling Moment Of Clarity...The Ability To Reduce The Complicated To The Simple."

Window Seat

Sitting here feeling outta sorts. Here I go again. Damn, I can't keep this shit up. The lyrics to Eryrah Badu's Window Seat is drowning my cerebellum. Brothas just sit back and listen. After listening to the lyrics of Window Seat "It" became so painfully clear to me that I have been let down and disappointed by another one of my Black Kings.

After the hurt and pain, I need to remove myself and purchase a ticket out of town to "Anywhere" with a window seat. A window seat to see my past, my present, and my future. The pain is too excruciating to have someone to sit next to me and share this pain. I bore your children, I bare the humiliation of your infidelity (you cheating ass motha fucker), I work two jobs to ensure financial stability for our family, I stand in defiance at the mere thought that you have been disrespected or wronged, I rejoice in your triumphant moments, I cry with you (my tears flow longer and harder and my shoulders hang lower than yours from the weight of your disappointments), I search the classifieds to help in your mission to secure employment, I endure the absence of your touch, your strength, your smile, your smell, your manhood, your dick, your caress, and your outspokenness. I miss you.

Baby, once I reach my destination, I need you to miss me, I need you to come looking for me, I need your attention, I need your approval, I need your affection, but most of all, I need you to say "come back to me". See brothas our primal needs are so very basic. I NEED you to NEED me. Please need me. I recognize and realize that I need you but, the void is your unwillingness or inability to need me.

I come humble and submissive to you. Are my needs too much for you to fulfil? Can we travel down this road together and share this window seat?

Peace and Blessings,


Tracey ReNissa

"The Finest Expression Of Respect Is Not Praise Or Status, But A Willingness To Talk Openly To A Person."...Les Bittle

Dwarf Syndrome

Queens the term "Dwarf Syndrome" came to me the other day. My use of the word dwarf is not meant to be derogatory or used in a negative connotation.

The term "Dwarf Syndrome" is used to describe how women dwarf themselves to accommodate the elevation of men. Queens the issue of "he's no good", "all men are dogs", "men aren't shit" originates with us. I mentioned in one of my earlier blogs that I read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Woman and Think Like a Man" well I have too many hats to wear i.e. mother, daughter, sister, friend, registered nurse, entrepreneur, child of God, and so on, to add yet another dimension of who I am as a woman to think like a man.

I only partially fault men on their continuous quest to find and conquer the booty. With every conquest another morsel of our soul is taken. It is difficult for the average man to fully understand and comprehend the magnitude and the impact of the single act of sex between a man and a woman and what it means to the average woman. Our vagina and is so tightly intertwined to our soul and our being. It is metaphorically impossible to separate the two and to discuss the one without including the other.

And so we, as women, have learned to dwarf our true feelings and our true spirits in hopes to fit into the preconceived ideas and thoughts of what we think a man wants. We dwarf our desires to find meaningful relationships because if we don't give "it" up some other sister will. We dwarf our pursue of what we believe is right and necessary in our lives. We dwarf our womanhood to accommodate the desire of a man. We allow our hearts and souls to spiral into chaos because of the internal conflict of our wants versus their wants. When we are not at peace with our soul, our God given rights to express ourselves without some form of rejection, and with the liberation of our true essence, there will always be internal turmoil, struggle and strife and that man that we desire will never fully have the opportunity to relish, cherish and appreciate the Queens that we are.

How does a man start to appreciate the beauty of a woman without experiencing the essence of her vagina too soon? Where does that art of appreciation start? Men too are held accountable for this phenomenon of dwarfism and the polarization of cohesive, strong and solid relationships.

I can only besiege you, my Queens, to set the tone and direct the path in which you are willing to travel. Don't allow our insecurities of being without a man dictate how we interact with a man. I, too, struggle with this concept of knowing what to do but not executing it. I take the pledge to eradicate any insecurities that are compromising and does not allow the true essence of Tracey ReNissa

Peace and Blessings

Tracey ReNissa

"To Go Against One's Conscience Is Neither Safe Nor Right. Here I stand. I Cannot Do Otherwise."....Martin Luther

Cracked But Not Broken

A friend once used the term "Cracked But Not Broken". Wow, how appropriate when describing "going through". It is amazing how God allows us to "go through" and despite any nicks or cracks, we are not broken. It isn't until we are older and wiser that we can appreciate the scars and memories of how we over came.

When we come across furniture that has fine cracks, it is said to have character and value. We classify it as an antique. The term antique has this unspoken value attached to it. When I look at my grandmother, who I love and adore, I appreciate her value. She will often speak of her life. I marvel at her tenacity, courage, resilience, spunk, and her unapologetic attitude towards life. Her wrinkles, her furrows across her forehead, her slow methodical movements and her quick agile sharp mind are unapproachable. Her sense of humor is contagious. Her love for her family is unquestionable. Her stories of hardship are heart wrenching, but through it all she made it through., "Cracked But Not Broken".

I besiege you, my queens, to not allow your situation to break you. Take these moments of darkness and emptiness and learn the lessons from these experiences. Take with you the wherewith all not to allow yourself to fall victim to the same dark and empty experience again.

Oh, you will have some cracks and bruises. Some will dissipate with time but others will remain to remind us of that place and our struggle to remove ourselves from that place. Just remember and call out the name of Jesus, our mothers, sisters, aunts, grandmothers and other women of yesteryears who are no longer here and our sisters who are here now. Reach out for that unwavering and never ending presence of God, for those cracks are like the imperfect circles that are used to count the years of a tree, they are like the beauty of our graying hairs to signify grace, wisdom, experience, and fortitude.

Remember the challenge of repairing a crack is far less challenging than the repair of something broken.

Peace and Blessings,

Tracey ReNissa

"The Worst the News, the More Effort Should Go Into Communicating It."....Andrew s. Grove, CEO, Intel Corp

Communication Between Men and Women

"Good Communication is as Stimulating as Black Coffee, and Just as Hard to Sleep After."....

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

It seems so simple, words between two people of the opposite sex, communication. The definition, the exchange of ideas, conveyance of information. In fact, this simple form of relaying and conveying thoughts, ideas, and feelings has proven, over the decades, to be difficult, arduous, painstaking, complicated, misconstrued, argumentative and disastrous.

I am the first to admit that at my age (hey hey), I refuse to mince words and to internalize how I feel. If communication is the expressive tools to convey how I feel then I am expressing. I have never sought to be malicious and combative (well sometimes). I do attempt to be thought provoking and insightful to my state of mind at that particular time. I believe when approaching a sensitive matter, you should be very careful of how and what you say. At the same time, one should be convincing and compelling of his/her thoughts.

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Communication mixed with today's savvy technology lends numerous ways of communicating without direct interaction with each other. I really find this to be cowardice and shallow. I too have used these forms of communication. I really loath this impersonal form of communicating. I find these forms of communication to be used as a veil or a shield of deception, untruths, manipulation and lies. Men and women are already saddled with the hurdles of truthful, meaningful and honest communication, why add to the burden.

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I have met several men in the past year and all rely heavily on texting, emailing, twitter, facebook or other blog sites. While I realize that these forms of communication play a significant role in our society, I hate that it has taken the place of true meaningful dialogue between men and women. These forms of communication can never place hearing the tone of how a voice changes when responding to a question or how a person pauses when he/she is trying to formulate a response. Hearing a person voice gives the listener insight to the state of mind of that person talking.

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I take a stand today. As a queen, I will no longer accept anything other than ear to ear or face to face communication when discussing personal matters with someone of the opposite sex. Queens no longer allow a man to leave a texted message explaining why he did not show up for a date or mail you explaining why he is breaking up with you. I expect the same treatment from you queens. Let us regain some resemblance of normalcy and honesty in our interaction with the opposite sex. Don't allow complacency and not wanting to chase a man away when we demand to be treated "right and descent".

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Peace and Blessings,

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Tracey ReNissa

"We're All Born Under The Same Sky, But We Don't All Have The Same Horizon."...Konrad Adenauer..

What Are You Seeking In A Relationship And What Are You Willing To Give Of Yourself In A Relationship?

As a woman in my forties, there are certain expectations, desires and standards that I believe I am entitled to. This is not an entitlement of selfishness or greed. It is an entitlement that I have as a queen seeking my king who is deservant of me, an entitlement as a child of God, and a righteousness that is entitled to me based on the Word of God. It is an entitlement that tells me that I want and deserve the best that life has to give me and in return I will reciprocate these same virtues and qualities to my King.

I seek first and foremost a man that is a child of God. I seek an honorable man that stumbles with flaws. This man with imperfections realizes that he is imperfect but strives to better himself and his family. For this man is not perfect but perfect for me. I seek my strong African American man that places no one before me but Our Lord and Saviour. I seek this strong outspoken man that cradles me in my moments of despair, my moments of tiredness and my moments of weakness. And with this spirit of outspokenness there is this quiet storm that is able to discern the situation and time to be outspoken vs. a quiet storm. The spirit of discernment is important to a man of leadership and authority. My king has a swagga that he owns and can never be duplicated. I seek a man that has Love for only me. His heart is too selfish to wander away from me, his true love. This man of God places his wife and family first. I seek a provider, a warrior, and a protector. This man of my, works endlessly and tirelessly to provide the essentials for his family. I seek a man that radiates self-confidence but needs not to be boastful and conceited. This man of my takes pride in his appearance. Are you that man for me.

As your queen, I take my role and place as your queen seriously. I place no one above you but my Lord and Saviour. I will stay by your side during all times. I will honor you both publicly and privately. I will never emasculate who you are. As your queen, my position is to feed and nourish you spiritually, physically and mentally. I am that voice of reason when you have doubts and concerns. I am that shelter when you need to be shielded. I am that queen confident enough to walk in your shadow without losing who I am. I am that queen that is sure of my position and role in your life and heart to allow you to be you. I am the mother of our children. I am your check and balance. I am your confidant. Most importantly, I am your perfect queen, not perfect in God's creation but perfect for you.

Do you know what you are seeking in a relationship and what are you willing to give in a relationship? My queens and kings take the time today to answer today's topic honestly.

Peace and Blessings,

Tracey ReNissa

"How a man plays the game shows something of his character; how he loses shows all of it."....Camden County, Georgia Tribune

Are Women Encouraging to Each Other, Are We Soul Builders, Emotion Menders, Uplifting In Each Others Endeavors Or Are We "Haters" Of The Game, Destroyers Of Encouragement, Or The Grim Reaper Of Dreams

Wow, take a look within before you commit to an answer. Can you honestly say that you are a positive uplifting spirit to the sistahood?

In my life, it has always been the kind and soothing encouragement of a woman that has inspired me and has motivated me to reach higher and to achieve greater. My mother was so encouraging and helpful to me that her loss was emotionally and spiritually devastating for me. I later had the kindness of my mother in-law. The commonalities that we share as women are much greater than our differences.

Our vanity, jealousy, competitiveness, greed, and our sense of loss of who we are as women, can monstrously and negatively cause adverse encounters with other women. This leads to fragmented and purulent infested relationships between women. Our inability to set aside our differences are at times crippling.

Together and united, I believe that a lot of the ills of our society would no longer exist. Women have always been the villagers helping to raise our children. We need to recapture that bond of oneness. We stand on the shoulders of great women who have paved the paths to greatness for us. I stand on the shoulders of our sisters like, Shirley Lofton, Oprah, Shirley Chishom, Noreen, Terry, Michelle Obama, Susan Taylor, Susan Depasse, Beyonce, Diana Ross, Mother Theresa, Liza, Marie and the list is endless.

When the opportunity presents itself, avail yourself to be a becon of light, a pillar of strength and a spirit of encouragement.

Who’s On My Guest List?

When you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind. And you will be blessed. —Luke 14:13-14

Peace and Blessings,

Tracey ReNissa